


Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

by 4l3xia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Amnesiac Derek, Derek Has Issues, Drunk Derek, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1255900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4l3xia/pseuds/4l3xia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek spend an awful night. If only he could remember what exactly happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed, and foreign language, thanks for your consideration.  
> Set before 3B.

The first attempt Derek made to open his eyes failed miserably. He had to try twice more time before succeeding.His head was killing him. He couldn't smell a single thing, and he had slept on the floor in his undies and a tight t-shirt.What the hell could have happened ?

He dragged himself to the kitchen in order to make coffee. Once started, the coffee maker was so loud that he told it : “Shush.Headache. ”

What had he done? He couldn't remember. He must have been poisoned.Yes, that was it.He had to call Deaton.

When he found his phone on the table, Derek saw a lot of missed calls. He cautiously checked his voicemails. The first one was from Lydia.

“Hi Derek, It's Lydia. I know you didn't make any promises, but the Party is on and you're gonna miss the best part if you're not here by ten. And dress up for once. Bye”

Derek recalled the Party. He came before ten. And he drank . A lot. He couldn't be drunk, as a werewolf. How could he ?

The second message was from Scott : “Hey Derek, it's Scott. I don't know what happened, but man, you're wasted. You've been drinking all night long, and you kissed at least a dozen girls. Lydia kept all the numbers for you. She collected them while you were on the dance floor.You've got serious moves.You'd teach me later. I have to stop the others to put the pics online, because I don't wanna have to stop you from killing them tomorrow. I don't know what happened, but you have some fun. I'm glad you do. See you”

Derek turned crimson. He danced? In front of people? And he kissed girls? He was poisoned, but also wasted. So he was now hungover. Derek swore to himself to only drink water until his death, which was apparently impending.

The third message was from Peter. Derek covered his eyes with his palm. His eyes were melting inside his head, he could feel them.It was awful.

“Derek, It was three drops to drink, not three teaspoons. Wrong translation. My bad. Goodnight.”

Peter. Of course. Who else could be such a sneaky bastard? Once again, his uncle did...exactly what Derek asked him. Damn. He slowly remembered that he asked Peter some potion to feel the effects of alcohol, in order to gather his courage to do something. What could it be? His head was killing him. Derek became increasingly embarrassed as he remembered the night before. Yes, he dressed up in a fancy suit and a shirt. He took three teaspoons of the potion, and took a large vodka. After this, it was more blurry. He remembered kissing girls and dancing a lot. He remembered drinking. A lot more. Damn.

He remembered that he grabbed someone ass , and that said ass bearer initiated some heavy groping. What the hell could have happened next?

As he was drinking his coffee (Coffee Good. Bad Vodka), he tripped on his trouser and shirt in the lobby. Why were these clothes on the floor? His eyes opened in horror. He remembered bringing someone home. He remembered ripping his own clothes and making out with this same person like crazy.

“For crying out loud”

He rushed in his room, and his current greatest fear was lying asleep here. He had bring someone home. He saw a naked back between his sheets, the head hidden under the pillows.

He carefully stepped back. “Shit. Shit .Shit.”

Derek entered the closet next to him. Yes, of course, he could stay here until the lady left. Or the lad? Not sure.It looked human at least. His sense of smell was totally messed up because of the Vodka. Evil, Evil Vodka. He didn't have any medication, because of his healing powers. Stupid Powers. His head ached so much that he couldn't even think properly. But the closet was dark and quiet, so he waited silently, his head between his hands.

After a while, the naked back awoke. He yawned, stretched himself and put his trousers on. “Ok,” thought Derek, “ I brought a boy in my loft and made out with him. What could possibly be worse?” As he tried to recollect his memories, the boy opened the closet's door.

“Derek? What are you doing in the closet?”

“STILES???”

“Derek, get out the closet.”

Derek stood up too hastily and felt on the floor.He hit his head badly “Ouch fuck fuck fuck”.

“Derek? You're fine?”

“Stiles? What? No? Stiles? No?What? ”

“Ok.You're broken. No more Vodka for you.”

“How did you end up in my bed? In boxers. Why did I sleep on the floor? What happened yesterday? WHY AM I YELLING ??”

“Ok . Calm down.You came to Lydia's party, and you drank. Too much.”

“Where is the person I brought here?I'm pretty sure I came back with someone.”

“You brought ME here”

“I think I should drink something right now”

“No no no no no no. You can't keep your hands to yourself when you drink. I need a T shirt to go home.”

“So take your shirt and leave”

“I can't. You're still wearing it.”

Derek looked at the T-shirt he was wearing. It was a blue T shirt with “Stud muffin” written on it.

“Why am I wearing your T shirt? And why did you say I can't keep my hands...”he stopped “Oh . I get it now . Oh no.”

“I'm not sure I should tell you. Some things should no be remembered. Last night was crazy.”

“Stiles, I'm hungover for the first time in my life.My head aches like nothing before. You may not conceive it, but I swear that my patience rate is unusually low. If you don't tell me what I asked for, I will exert upon you a surge of gratuitous violence.”

“You want an aspirin?”

“Oh God yes please. Yes to everything you can give me. Oh shut up Derek.”

 

Ten minutes after, Stiles was silently sitting in front of the table kitchen sipping a coffee, while Derek was slowly drinking his medication.

“So, what about yesterday?”

“Ok.You asked for it, remember. Yesterday, you came to Lydia's party with your own Purple Shirt of Sex and a suit. Everybody fancied you, and you drank a lot. You became surprisingly quickly drunk for a werewolf and you became flirtatious with a lot of people. You danced all night. You're a party animal”

“Okay. I'm going to die from embarrassment in five minutes. But why did I bring you here?”

“Because you asked me to spend the night with you?”

“Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?”

“You sang to me _voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir_ for ten minutes long before I agreed to follow you here.”

“What? In front of everybody? I … I'll drink water until I die. And possibly drown myself while doing it.”

“No. You dragged me to the cellar to kiss me. We were alone.”

Derek looked at him. Now he remembered why he asked the potion to Peter. He wanted to make his declaration to Stiles, but the plan backfired horribly. He made a fool of himself, and now Stiles would certainly laugh at him.

“You really should stop asking Peter anything, you know .The potion was a lame idea”

“How did you know about the potion? I barely remembered it.”

“You said it as soon as I asked you if you were wasted. Then you kissed me. Repeatedly . With tongues.”

Derek buried his head in his hands “I am so sorry.I 'm gonna be sick.”

“Derek, you miss the point.”

“That I should never ,ever drink vodka again?”

“That I willingly followed you here. I kissed you back. You don't remember what I said?”

Derek was struggling hard to remember, and his face suddenly lit up “Oh. You answered that you loved me. How can I have forgotten this?”

“You remember it now. So I repeat for your sober self: “ About time, I loved you for aeons” ”

Derek kissed him passionately. Stiles gasped in surprise, but he grabbed him and kissed him back. Derek carried him on the couch and began to make out with him, but he abruptly stopped. He stared at Stiles.

“What? Did I do something wrong?” asked Stiles

“No, you're perfect, but why were you alone in my bed? Why was I here on the floor, and why did I wear your t-Shirt?”

“Oh. This part. Ok. Once here, we began foreplay. You ripped your clothes and took off my shirt. As I said your perfect body made me insecure about my own, you put my shirt to hide it, but it is so tight that it only aroused me more. We were about to became really serious when you collapsed on me. Man, you're heavy.Really heavy. I was stuck under you with my boner for fifteen minutes . When I finally freed myself , you were snoring loud and I came to sleep in your bed.” 

Derek closed his eyes and blushed. “I can't believe it. It's a neverending nightmare. I think that you look great, all the time. You're cute, funny and smart. You're addictive”. Then he proceeded to unbuckle Stiles belt.

“What are you doing?”

“We've got unfinished business here”

“But you're still hungover... Easy . Oh my god. Easy. YOU'VE TORN MY BOXER, YOU BEAST. Oh. Okay. Just grab a condom, would you? ”

 

 


End file.
